oh ya. just in case u are about to congrats me on my first year anniversary, pls do hold on.
i DO NOT had a good day in celebrating this occasion.
it was absolutely lousy.
this goes back to about a week ago, the excited me says to him that : " oh yeah! we gonna hit one year. " his reply to me was " just have a good dinner. "
just because of what he had said. i went online to recce for the best food. hotel buffet dinner cross my mind once again. but i was as usual late in making the reservation due to i only recce the day before. when i made my mind in what we shall have, reservation for the carousel was all full ( even the waiting list was freaking full).
told him about it and he just gave me a nonchalant reply.
undeniable, it totally bring my excited mood down.
he start saying that i'm anyhow throwing my temper again and always happen during occasion. i knew that what he gonna say anyway. his fucking bo chup attitude is what i think i really cannot accept. blaming on he is fully packed with work and his new dj-ing job, he got no time for plans. i tried my best to understand, but to no avail, i couldn't find a beautiful excuse for myself.
we went ahead with the dinner to the french stall which he suggested that near to his house. and of cos because it was a friday night, who the hell will offer u space with walk in? its fully packed with patrons and its hitting 9pm. we then proceed to dempsey road to see if there is nice food to eat. we end up in LA FONDUE which hit me back to the afternoon photographs i had seen in one's Facebook, which they are also celebrating their one year anniversary. i couldnt help it but to think of what people have and what i have.
what i need to preparation to make me feel that oh.. u are feeling great that we hit one.
anyway, follow by movie of the shopaholic that he went online to see where is STILL screening. he was dead beat throughout the whole movie and he almost fall asleep. fetch me home after the movie.
we ended the lousy night.
with ...
NO kiss.
NO hug.
NO cuddle.
NO holding of hands at all.
NO talking of more than 10 words from me.
NO lovey dovey stuffs.
NONE OF EVERYTHING.
all the times i have been wondering.. what's holding me back in this relationship...
is what i expect MORE than what people can give OR izzit he is just giving way TOO little.
i didnt expect fanciful things or expensive presents from him, is it just too much to make me feel little important on this day.
:(
everyone's benchmark is different.
so whats worth celebrating ??
actually. its nothing.
i rather is a normal day cos i wont be bother too much to think and feel for anything.
